Limbo

I’ve been trapped in Limbo
For a while now, for a while now
The lights are pretty dim, low.
And it’s a bit colder somehow

I’ve been trapped in Limbo
But it’s okay, but it’s okay
It’s not exactly grim, though –
The skies a little grey.

And – I live in the North, I know.
So you’d think I’d be alright.
But there’s something about Limbo
There’s something in the light

It doesn’t feel like a light should.
I still see it – crystal clear and all
It glistens, like a varnished wood.
But it doesn’t shine, it falls.

Like a necessity, like a dead weight
I’ve been trapped in Limbo
Where I don’t occur, I wait.
And the seconds are so slim, slow.

Video-groan

HAIKU OF THE DAY

NEW FEATURE: Where, when I am not writing poems I will write lazy Haikus EVERY DAY for the rest of my life. Until I get old. And shakey. Aw.


I'm hungrier now.
Since I gave up on being
A massive cake whore.

DON'T MIND ME

Caput Mortuum

I care not for the manner in
Which I retrieve my Anadin
But I require Aspirin
I dare not ever grasp the gin

That did this to my head again
That killed dignity dead like when
I chose to rap to Eminem
Whilst chasing wine with M&Ms

My music blog

I sometimes write about musical things. Often that thing is music.

Scissorsinthejukebox.blogspot.com

I've been awful with all these plugs today. I should call an electrician.

I should also write funnier jokes.

Things that don't happen often

My name on a poster. A poster with squirrels on.

Come on down, folks! It'll be a lark probably. We all love a good lark

Borderline

I sometimes think I’m borderline.
But don’t say that out loud
‘Cause talk like that makes chairs recline
Soft mumbles in the crowd

I sometimes think I’m borderline
But don’t look at me like that
Or think I’m slurping Bourdeux wine
That’s not the point I’m at.

I didn’t mean that I was borderline
Insane, ‘cause that’s a bit dramatic
I’m bored of life. I’m bored of mine.
So more - borderline erratic.

This isn’t my tragic decline
More like a tragic stumble
It’s not even technically a whine
More like a blasé grumble.

I sometimes think I’m borderline
And people jump up in a floozy
But that doesn’t mean that I’m not fine
It just means I’m a bit choosy.

You

Dedicated to you. It was always you, darlings.


My attempt to be poetic
Involves being aesthetically
Magnetic, like kinetic energy.

Using metre to perfection
Involves inputting exceptional
Inflections into witty commentary

My attempt to impress you lot
Who all think that Harry Potter's
Got an awful lot ot offer more than me

Will at times fall into trouble
But my love for you is bubbling
To double what it was previously

As a poet - it's my duty
To deliver to you beautiful
And fruity words so listen carefully

These moments we are sharing now
Are timeless and will no doubt tower
Through thousands of now pointless memories

Well let's face it, I am flummoxed
And am having trouble stomaching
My dumb luck when you first looked up at me

In fact it's just implausible
That you exist or your applause is
Audible at all - extraordinary

You're brimming with intelligence
You're relevant and elegantly
Decadent - and well - that's nice for me

You - with your little funny heads
You - with oleaginous beauty spreading
Far ahead of my dishonesty

May I squeeze your collective cheek
And waggle lobes 'til my knees weaken
And I'm meek with inferiority

You with your sparkling wit
That dangles across your pretty
Mouths oft hits me with a harsh anxiety

You with your pert figures
That in turn make my giggles
Linger as you wiggle your posteriors at me

Some would say that's inappropriate
Behaviour for a poetry lot
But for me - it's so so necessary.

You - with your weird ears
That some would call endearing
But my dear - they just look a bit silly

You with your increasingly angry brow
That makes your eyes tower
Over countless levels of my dignity

You who haven't returned my calls
In 3 weeks - with galling
Excuses that cause such embarrassment with BT

You with - decrepit beauty
That you torture me with beautifully
Hot booty that exists to tempt me

But despite it all I love you
And I know you would be clueless
If you ever were without my poetry

So I'll stay up here forever
Reciting exciting and clever
Verse for you until the end of eternity

Because without you - I'm just a sad
Act, stood up here with scribble pad
So for that I'm glad that you are you

So I guess I'll just be me.

Sky

Divine chasm caressing the air
Azula lingers low
Celestial beauty’s hidden lair
The Jerry Springer Show

Lustrous lanterns light the scope
Of wistful heat in waves
Pearly provinces of hope
Top Gear repeats on Dave

Twinkling canvas darkens - slow
Encased in misty hands
The golden summit fades below
New Movies on Demand

A Paradise of listless blue
A white swirling marquee
Utopia where once Icarus flew
Loose Women in HD

Arcadian blanket coats the world
A new era is born
Exquisiteness of life unfurled
Old Australian Porn

The delicate grace that I chase
The reason to the ‘Why’
I cannot leave this blessed place
The one that I call ‘Sky’.

Best Thing Ever #2: Krave

What is it: Krave is a fairly new cereal conceived by Kelloggs. (Are there any other cereal manufacturers anyway? Hmm. Food for thought.) Krave is a deliciously chocolatey crunchy..thing, little square shells with a delicious Nutella-stylee centre.

Why is it the best thing ever: Well that was sort of explained just a few lines above, but it is also the source of many happy (hungover) memories for me with me and my friends. I don't get drunk that often (Why would I? When I am simply so high on life. Do you hate me yet?) but when I do - the morning after can ease the queasy feeling that something simply awful has happened with some perculiar little shells of chocolate. I have never eaten them with my milk, that would ruin the 'enigma' and make them ordinary. ANYTHING after the world of Krave is meaningless, pointless and void. Special K is Bullshit.

Best Thing Ever - A Homage to 'The Room'

Hello. Did you ever wonder what the best thing ever was? You couldn't be more wrong. Unless you just murmured 'the room' to yourselves in your lonely laptop lit rooms?

I'm sure if you are net-savvy you will already know it. But basically it was a film conceived by Tommy Wiseau..blahblahblah Wikipedia link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Room_(film)

Now you're all up to date:
Let me show you the most intense beauty in the world, encapsulated here:

New poem..not quite sure if I like it. It's a bit 'serious'

My Anamnesis

Sometimes - our memories trap us.
Sometimes we try and stop.
Ignore that unremitting buzz
That makes our faces drop

Those shadowed holes that fritter
And stain our coloured thoughts
Distorting them like litter;
Then leave us overwrought.

At least they do to me.
And boy, will I cling
On to every bad memory
And every bad feeling

And inspect it, and dissect it
‘Til it’s butchered and it’s void
But regret I won’t forget it
Lest I turn to Sigmund Freud.

And swiftly come to the conclusion
That I’m fine in all respects
And that my faulty brain intrusion
Was uncharted need for sex

Sig my friend, its’ not that easy
This is unrelenting sadness
Which is why I’m feeling queasy
Not a vast erotic madness

To be honest, I’d prefer that;
To be feeling sexually deviant
Acting as a human welcome mat
Would be slightly more convenient

Than this swift loss of composure
Mark my name in your last thesis
That I’m simply needing closure
For my murky anamnesis.

My anamnesis is in pieces
And I don’t know what to do
As my momentum increases
And I’m stuck without a clue

Of how to fix it, my exquisite
Thoughts of good times and the bad
This isn’t normal, is it?
To be this sort of sad

And to swim in contemplations
That you cannot change again
Analyzing concentrations
That happened god knows when



And to delve into my cluttered psyche
To pick a single thought
About a moment I chose to dislike
Slightly more than I ought.

Basically - these feelings trap us
And we dwell dwell dwell
Upon a moment that is hapless
With emotions that then swell

Into a mammoth lack of grace
That snags my throat onto a hook
And screams with fury in my face
That I deserve to feel this stuck.

And I deserve to feel this hollow
If I continue looking back
Unless of course I choose to swallow
This insistence to backtrack

Sometimes our minds form fingers
That caress our quivering cheeks
And force ourselves to linger
On our memories most bleak

But luckily, some fingers break
Especially metaphorical
So violent acts to induce ache
Are fine, if allegorical

Especially when memories hurt
And secretly we fall to pieces
But outside we can all avert
Our inner anamnesis.

I have been neglecting the blog!

Well slap me silly.
I'm back now.

BLOGGING DONE.

100 tracks from the Noughties

Lily Allen - The Fear
Outkast - Hey Ya
The Strokes - The Modern Age
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps
JayZ vs. The Beatles - 99 Problems/Helterskelter
Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Stronger, Faster
Modest Mouse - Float On
The Libertines - Albion
Dizzee Rascal - Sirens
Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood
Britney Spears - Toxic
Kanye West - Jesus Walks
Radiohead - 15 Step
Muse - Time is Running Out
Outkast - B.O.B
Amy Winehouse - Take the Box
Razorlight - Golden Touch
Klaxons - Golden Skans
The Streets - Weak Become Heroes
The Walkman - The Rat
Interpol - Evil
Of Montreal - Gronlandic Edit
Dan Le Sac vs. Scroobius Pip - Thou Shalt Always Kill
LCD Sound system - Disco Infiltrator
Beyonce - Crazy in Love
The Long Blondes - Appropriation (By any other name)
Malcolm Middleton - Four Cigarettes
Glasvegas - Daddy’s Gone
The Polyphonic Spree - Light and Day
Bloc Party - Tulips
Zero 7 - In the Waiting Line
The Strokes - Last Nite
Giant Drag - Blunt Picket Fence
Regina Spektor - Samson
Patrick Wolf - Bluebells
Basement Jaxx - Romeo
Coldplay - The Scientist
Mew - Behind the Drapes
The Arcade Fire - Rebellion
Sigur Ros - Svefn-g-Englar
M.I.A - Paper Planes
Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends
Amerie - 1 Thing
Antony and the Johnssons - Hope There’s Someone
MGMT - Time to Pretend
The Pipettes - Dirty Mind
Ash - Shining Light
The Libertines - Up the Bracket
The Streets - The Escapist
Kaiser Chiefs - Modern Way
Sugababes - Freak Like Me
The Strokes - Reptilia
No Bra - Munchausen
Arctic Monkeys - Riot Van
Elbow - A day like this
Jarvis Cocker - Cunts are Still Running the World
The Futureheads - Hounds of Love
The White Stripes - My Doorbell
Radiohead - Idioteque
LCD Sound system - New York, I love You
Eminem - Stan
Shakira - She Wolf
Babyshambles - Fuck Forever
Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl
Blur - Out of Time
Blink 182 - I Miss You
Justice - D.A.N.C.E
Freelance Hell raiser - A Stroke of Genius
Kelly Rowland - Stole
Wilco - Jesus Etc.
The Strokes: 12:51
The White Stripes - Fell in Love with a Girl
Pulp - Sunrise
Air - Cherry Blossom Girl
Franz Ferdinand - Eleanor, Put Your Boots On
Jimmy Eat World - The Middle
Art Brut - Formed a Band
Coldplay - Clocks
Sainthood - L.E.S Artistes
Junior Senior - Move Your Feet
The Antlers - Two
Feist - 1234
Ian Brown - F.E.A.R
Emiliana Torrini - Easy
Duffy - Mercy
Phoenix - If I ever feel better
Kate Nash - Foundations
Kelis, Andre 3000 - Millionaire
Aaliyah - More than a Woman
Cut Copy - Saturdays
Kaiser Chiefs - I predict a riot
Daft Punk - One More Time
Calvin Harris - Ready for the Weekend
Datarock - Computer Camp Love
The Teenagers - Homecoming
The Big Pink - Velvet
The Concretes - Chico
Eugene McGuiness - Monsters Under My Bed
Lightspeed Champion - Midnight Surprise
The Libertines - Time for Heroes

Top 50 films of the Decade

1. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004)
2. Moulin Rouge! (2001)
3. Amelie (Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain) (2001)
4. Moon (2009)
5. Spirited Away (Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi) (2001)
6. Inglourious Basterds (2009)
7. Up (2009)
8. Me and You and Everyone We Know (2005)
9. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
10. Lost In Translation (2003)
11. Rachel Getting Married (2008)
12. Good Bye, Lenin (2004)
13. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)
14. Synecdoche, New York (2008)
15. Shaun of the Dead (2004)
16. Slumdog Millionaire (2008)
17. Y Tu Mama Tambien (2001)
18. Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
19. Memento (2000)
20. Donnie Darko (2001)
21. Låt den Rätte Komma In (Let the Right One in) (2008)
22. The Fountain (2006)
23. Requiem for a Dream (2000)
24. Away We Go (2009)
25. The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
26. High Fidelity (2000)
27. Hour Party People (2002)
28. Funny Games (2008)
29. This Is England (2007)
30. Garden State (2004)
31. WALL-E (2008)
32. In the Loop (2009)
33. Atonement (2007)
34. Chicago (2002)
35. 28 Days Later (2003)
36. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)
37. Little Miss Sunshine (2006)
38. Bad Education (La Mala educación) (2004)
39. A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)
40. Man on Wire (2008)
41. Control (2007)
42. Punch-Drunk Love (200)
43. The Prestige (2006)
44. Secretary (2002)
45. Revolutionary Road (2008
46. Be Kind Rewind (2008)
47. Adaptation (2002)
48. Hallam Foe (2007)
49. Werckmeister Harmoniak (2001)
50. Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

I wish that I was brilliant

I wish that I was brilliant
Impeccably resilient
And resolute and aspirant
To be even more excellent

Than others that are brilliant
And others that are excellent
With mothers that will smother
Them in utter love and other

Bits of praise that lasts for days and days
Because they’re just born to amaze
And that is what I want to be
To a tolerable degree

At least, or maybe just this once
The chance for utter brilliance
And glory bursting at the seams
My name played out to seas of screams

But the good type of piercing cries
That aren’t prefixed before you die
The ones that try to sort of say
You’re brilliant in every way

But in case we all forgot
Brilliant? Me? Maybe not.
At best I’m simply adequate
And even that is pushing it

The screams are just fictitious
The screams are simply vicious
Lies that try to compromise to me
And glamorize adequacy.

When I think - I lament
I analyze every event
And pick and pick down to the wick
Of slicker wit I should’ve picked

And when I dance - I flounder
Like a dog loose from the pound, the
Style I have is just detailing
Some sort of synchronized flailing

And when I speak - I stammer.
I do not talk I hammer
Out the words like invisible bullets
And every syllable is dull it’s

Like a storm of over-used
And clichéd phrases so abused
The words don’t make sense anymore
Yet tumble from my jabbering jaw

Like chewed up bits of unused wit
That’s pretty screwed up - isn’t it?
I almost wish I’d never spoke
Or at least saved the awful jokes

For a time that never existed
You’d think I could’ve just resisted
Being just that bit not brilliant
And a lot less unintelligent

But there’s no point hating myself
I mean - at least I’ve got my health
And what’s the point in all the rife
Claims of “I hate my life”
“I hate my life”

I guess things are sort of alright
Not being particularly bright
There’s no point wallowing in spite
Despite my brilliance being slight

The brilliant ones, deserve to be
Because they just are naturally.
And you know what? That’s okay.
(I bet they’re all bastards anyway )

Just a little thing

MY UNI FUCKED UP, NOT ME. I am not stupid after all. I might get to go back to Year 2 now. And wouldn't that be nice. Now here is a very simple poem. You know the phrase 'simple yet effective?' I feel this is simple, and not so much effecting of anything. Ha ha.



Your Night

Well, it isn’t mine.
It’s unequivocally yours.
And that’s completely fine
So please - shut the door

Let me sleep
Let me filter out the gloom
And fall into deep
Seeping sleep in my room

I am sad and you’re not
And that’s completely fine.
These feelings I’ve got
Are not yours, they are mine

So please close the door
And don’t turn on the light
Because this is my flaw
But this is your night

Your night. Your night
To showcase your glee
To the noise and bright lights
And forget about me

To pour liquor and spirits
Merrily down your throat
And to take life and live it
And feel yourself float

To the edge of the earth
As high as you might
This is what your worth
This is your night

Your night your night
To retrieve pairs of lips
To express your delight
Through wandering fingertips

And to dance on the street
With effervescent grace
With the people you meet
And willingly embrace

And that’s completely fine.
As my skin meshes with the sheets
Of my bed and intertwines
With my neck and my feet

As I drift off and slumber
And hope I don’t wake
As floating shapes and numbers
Make my eyelids shake

And that’s completely fine.
Because as try as I might
This night is mine
And this is your night.

And now everything is shit.

Oh, toss.

They failed my resits for uni..and now I'm in limbo. And it isnt like the fun version on Sabrina the teenage witch.
Do I resit the year or do I take the year out (As to which I will have to resit the same coursework again sometime next year and then progress to Year 2)...
I think I'll probably resit the year - as I cant bare to be stuck here NOT at uni whilst everyone else is demonstrably AT uni, and also - I want to do 'things'. 'Things' and stuff aswell hopefully. But it does mean doing all the same work again..it might be a bit. You know. Boring.
If they don't let me resit the year - I am still technically at MMU..but I basically have to wait. Which means I guess I would get a job and maybe do more poetry gigs to pass away those few spare months. Either way I'm still at uni..it's not the end of the world..plus this first year wasnt exactly wonderful anyway - it'd be kind of nice to start again. I really need to keep as busy as possible. I even applied to join the Samaritans..not entirely sure why. It was on impulse whilst I was bawling my eyes out all the time yesterday.
*Cry cry cry* Click..samaritans. Ooh sounds lovely. *Send application* *Bursts into tears moreso*

Hmm..
I am in a very big pickle. And I don't even like pickles. x

The Ten Greatest Thick-Rimmed Spectacle Wearers in the World Ever

I appear to be suffering with a little writer's block that no brand of Mr Muscle or literary inspiration can help with so instead - I will waste my life away with top 10 'things' for a bit. And you will read them, and you will nod and go 'hmm she's got a point there.' and you'll love it. It's going to be emotional.

Lo and Behold - The greatest tick-rimmed spectacle wearing people. Or at least 10 of them.

1. Johnny Depp

Ah look at his face and his cheeks. He doesn't necessarily need any adornment to make his face more chiselled and wonderful in general, but I feel the rule is thus. If Johnny Depp wants to wear thick rimmed spectacles, Johnny Depp gets to wear thick rimmed spectacles. If Johnny Depp wants to star in a mediocre Jack the Ripper drama alongside Heather Graham with an 'accent', Johnny Depp gets.

2. Mark Ruffalo (In Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind only, mind.)



Blast, looks like these specs were a requirement for his character. Anyway, he still wears them quite well I would proudly announce. Geeky memory-eraser man chic, to the max. They probably made Mark wear these because Elijahs eyes are freakishly big.

3. Garth Algar



Party on dude, and all other shameless quoting aside. Master of the mullet Garth also has a fine pair of thick-rimmers. Excuse him, he'd like to get by now please.

4. Woody Allen



Director, writer, actor and all round extraordinaire champion thick rimmed spectacular. Allen has done many odd things in his lifetime, but decades from now I fear he will be remembered as having a pair of excellent eyewear - rather than that whole Mia Farrow's adopted daughter nearly-incest thing. 'What incest?' the fashion conscious minions of the early 3000s will holler. And then back to the quite blatant technology of the future stereotyping but-probably-will-actually-happen hovercrafts they go...

5. Jarvis Cocker



I threw up in my mouth a little bit when I realised I'd forgotten good ol' Jarvis. If there was an Olympic event in immaculate spectacle wearing - surely King of the Geography teacher chic setting alight the hearts of thousands of girls wrapped up tightly in H&M scarves would come away with the Gold. It is Jarvis who is solely responsible for senior citizens to be the fashion trend-setters of the 1990s/2000s. I remember the days Oxfam used to be a place to gaze nostalgically at old VHS tapes. Now it is packed to the brim of people vying to grasp the term 'indie', grabbing away with their vintage ring clad fingers.

6. Truman Capote



Of course Marilyn Monroe is here! Of course she is. She cannot resist Capote, writer of Breakfast at Tiffanys, squeakiest of voices, cleverest of writers, and most importantly, wearer of our favourite vision-enhancers.

7. Graham Coxon



People of the earth:
Important note. Graham Coxon is not so much a musician, or indeed a man. He is a pair of glasses with a man/musician attached. He is geek-chic mecca. He doesn't so much wear the glasses as the glasses wear him. That's an important philosophical statement. Don't try and think it through. It'll hurt your head.

8. Harry Potter



And as this humble blogger finds herself running rapidly out of ideas, and wondering why she started this post in the first place, we find ourselves falling into the realms of the fictional. Greatest fabricated wizard of all time would be nothing without his trusty specs. Did Rowling become inspired to write the adventures of this boy-hero or did she simply think it would be a really cheap fancy dress idea? I think I'm on to her...

9. Buddy Holly



Yeah yeah yeah, so he probably invented rock and roll a little bit and was one of the most exciting musical influences of the last century. Be all that as it may. Check out the specs. Now theres a man with 2020 vision whos looking good. Am I right, or am I right? ..Yeah, I don't know that much about Buddy Holly.

10. Harold Lloyd



God bless Wikipedia. Harold Lloyd of course is a grand ol' mavrick and pinnacle of the silent era. Apparently. He doesn't look much like Charlie Chaplin to me. Ah blessed ignorance. Nevertheless - the man has a FINE pair of specs in and is worthy of helping me complete my list. Thankyou Harold you wonderful, lesser known talent.

Good day to you all.

Familiar Faces

I tracked down my old friend Damian from primary school the other day. Tracking down people from primary school instead of say - waiting til 30 and perusing through old uni mates, because of course you are already properly developed human beings...created inside jokes together that are not about Jenga, but about that particularly inebriated Saturday evening. You played Xbox360 not the Sega Megadrive together. You drank coca cola, not vodka. You slept in the same room on the same uncomfortable floor - not in seperate camp beds in seperate bedrooms because your mum didnt want you sleeping in the same room.

So obviously it was going to be odd - but me and Damian used to be inseperable folks. Even when I left my old primary school we kept in touch. We even went to Radio 1's big weekend together. And play twister. Always!

I've always half-wondered where he has been and what he was doing now - and by chance I managed to correctly spell his ridiculously hard to remember last name right for once in Facebook and I found him.

Suffice to say things were not promising from the off..he has a skinhead now. Big cheeky brown eyed face remains intact. But chains and England shirts are now interspersed within the ensemble, fogging up my childhood nostalgia somewhat ha.

I messaged him in vain hope - but he didn't really recognise me. When I hastily reminded him he went 'ah yeh i sorta remember classic times. lol.'

Oh dear :)